I am so sick of the excuses I keep giving myself...and ashamed too...when did I get to be so damn lazy about everything? Have I given up on myself already? So soon? Somewhere there is still some fight in me, I'm sure of it. Where is it? Today I made an effort...I went and worked out at the hotel...proud pat on the back...then my headache started again... :( I dunno what is wrong with me...
I think I have reached a comfort zone and need a change. I need to motivate myself. I need to find myself. But how...it's like asking a smoker to stop smoking, or an alcoholic to stop drinking...only they can change themselves...only they can stop the addiction...so it's up to me to try and change myself...my lifestyle...if I keep going on like this I will end up even more unhappy. I need to be more active...say it and do it...not just say it and then somehow back out of it...I'm being my own pet peeve and I hate it....no more...if I say I am going to do it...I am going to do it...and it started with me saying I was going to go work out...and I did....so it proves that I can believe in myself. That I can move forward and fulfill what I need to do...Penny...you can do this! Aza Aza Fighting!
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